Book1:TeDream-Maker (第28/166页)

lltookthreebilliooevolveintohumanlife．Moderellsusthatthegrowthofafertilizedcellintoababyisarepetitionofthesameprocessofevolution，butittakesonlyhs．Ithinkthattheelementoffateisaddedatthemomentofception．Withoutthiselement,everyonewouldbethesame．Theywouldlookalike,havethesamelifespanandtherewouldbenosuccessesorfailures,justlikeproductsfromafactoryassemblyliheexterioroftheembryosofallmammonlookthesame，butthedifferentgehemmakethemgrowintodifferentanimals：cows，sheep，pigsetc.WhatIcalltheelementoffateisiainwaysretedtogenes．Ofcourse，thisisonlymydaringassumptionwithoutmuchevideosupportit．Butlifeisamysterynoonehasbeeosolve.”

    “Manismorefortuhanotheranimalsinthatduringtheslowprocessofevolution，asedselfwasbornthatcouldthinkforitself．Thisiswhatnootheranimalhas．Itissimpletosatisfytheneedsofthefleshbody,whilyrequiresfood,shelterandsexualsatisfa．Butmaniscalledtheofanimalsbecausehehasabodywhioloisfiedwithsuchbasieedsandwhitainsasedselfthatthinkforitselfandcouldorderthebodytoperpetuallyseekenjoyment,lustandgreed．Butthatthinkingsedselfalsohasthepowersofself-examination，whichproducesthestandardsofbehavior．Withtheexistenmuhesestandardsbecameintricatewswhitrolthefleshboingoutofbounds．Likewise，moralitytrolsthesedselfsothatitwouldnothavetoomuchfreerein．Soweetothequestion‘Whatislife?’Ithinklifeisjusthowtomanageourfleshbody．Itshouldcarefullymonitorourthinkingsedselfbecauseithasthecapacitytodobothgoodandevil”．

    Withthat，Dimitritookouthisunfitleofliquorandtookanotherquaff．TheactivitiesofDimitri’sbrainweregraduallysloweddoorbytheliquor．buthismother’sstwordstohimresoundedrepeatedlyinhisearuntilhecouldstanditnomore．

    "OhAmalia,youcheapnastywoman!”hecriedbitterly."Youuseyourfleshbodyasatoolforyourownpleasures，hinkingitistherootofallevilthatgivesrisetedies，ofwhichIamone．Youmiserablestrumpet，youcallmeabitch’sbastard．Whatdoesthatmakeyou?Abitch!”Hestrodeaboutangrily．"Abitch！Bit...hic..ch!”Hiccupsstoppedhiswords．"Bit...hic...ch!Stopthat！"hesnappedangrilyathishiccup．"You’realsoason-of-a-bitch!Hic”Hepulledouthisbottleandtriedtodrownhisannoyinghicliquor．"Oh，yes，whenIwassmallIlivedlikeawilddog，beggingformediewhenIwasill，rummagingingarbagesforfoodandclothes．Younevercaredahootaboutme，thoughItriedsohardtopleaseyou,sohard…”

    Self-pitywelledupandhealmostcried．"Whydidymeintothisworld?Why?IcallmyselfDimitriJa,butwhoknowswhatkindofbloodflowsthroughmyveins.NotoldJa’s，that’sforsure．Awholevariety!"Theangerfredupagain．"Pyaroundifyouwant，butyoushouldn’thavegottenyourson-of-a-bitch’slovertomurderoldJatopayyamblis．Hewasdettous.Youdeservedtodie．Youdid．Youdid．Yhtallthisonyourself．Ihadnothingtodowithit，youbitch!Bitch!Bitch！！！"Dimitriraisedhisvoidwasshoutinghysterically．Suddenly，hestoppedtalkingaosphimselfonthecheek．"WhatabumIamtotalklikethisaboutmyownmotherwhohasbeendeadalltheseyears．Ifshewasbad,sheunishedforitandpaidherdues．WhoamItobeheriudge?HowgoodamI？WhohaveIinthisworld?”Hebawledlikeachild,huddledinaeroftherosegarden.Butthen,hisfiouchedthebottleofliquorandhemumbledtohimself"Yes,Imi